Revolutionary Conversations Part 2 of 4

Conversations for Relationship

In part 1 of our series we touched on the Conversation for Orientation (one of four Revolutionary conversations organizations are having). Part 2 continues with Conversations for Relationship.

The conversation for relationship is all about creating a framework for the coordination of action. Sometimes in our rush to get things done in our day-to-day, we miss having these important conversations with others. The pitfall is when we start to relate to others as “things” and not human beings. This is the act of being efficient with people instead of being effective. If we are not careful we can create toxic feelings that produce poor results.

There are three parts to the Relationship Conversation called Authentic Trust, Dignity and Respect, and Understanding and Satisfaction.

Authentic Trust begins by assessing someone in the domains of sincerity, competence, and reliability. These assessments allow for more powerful conversations. For example, if John is requesting to take on a project but has a history of uncompleted projects then you might have a conversation with John about his reliability instead of just saying no or passing over him. You can tell John that you know he’s sincere in his intention to take on the project, and that he has the necessary competence to produce the project but his long standing record of unfinished projects makes it difficult for you as leader to hand it to him. This can provide an opportunity for John to improve his performance.

The concept of betrayal also needs to be on the table for discussion whenever necessary. As a leader you must be sincere when asking the question “Are there any areas where you feel we have betrayed you in the organization and if so, may we have a conversation about that?” Having the trust conversation builds relationships with people and creates a culture of possibility.

Dignity and Respect is about creating a space in the organization where people have permission to decline or counter-offer requests that are made to them. As a leader, if you don’t allow for this type of atmosphere to exist then you can not trust your people when they say yes to you. Every promise made has a measure of time attached to it, therefore if one takes on too many promises eventually something’s going to get left undone and who decides what gets done or not?

Understanding and satisfaction is about revealing to others how we want to be treated, our unique preferences, and what actions produce satisfaction and well being for us.

The freedom to have these conversations is essential for successful coordination of action to take place. Successful action always produces successful companies.