Emotional Rescue

My friend Bob (it's always "Bob" to protect their real identities) is really hard on himself when he screws up. But he's really covert about it.

Bob runs a pretty large company and so this part of his personality remains well hidden from most people. It manifests itself in ways that are pretty unhealthy for others around him. He gets overly critical, short, bursts of anger.

When you're dealing with an inner battle you start to create an outward battle.

Emotions are important to deal with in the work place because they can really destroy morale and productivity -not to mention people's lives.

Most of us don't even think we're emotional.

I remember about 12 years ago when I was managing a Cell Phone retail outlet in a mall when my district manager came to take me for lunch. He's sitting across from me and he says, "George -you know that people really have difficulty working with you because of you being so emotional. You're either really down one day and up the next and it really throws people. You need to work on being more consistent with your emotions."

I was shocked because I've (up to then) never even considered myself as someone who was an emotional roller-coaster.

So that Saturday at my staff meeting I brought it up with the staff and I said something like this...

"Bob brought to my attention this week how difficult I am to work with and I was shocked because I thought I was so perfect! (laughs from staff). Seriously, I really want to know how I occur to you guys and when. Please help me with this as it is limiting my success in life and with my career specifically. I want to hear what it's like for you and what I do or don't do that causes that for you."

It was a great conversation that led me to get really present with the idea that how we "show up" in the world effects others and ultimately our "public identity."

It's important -not because we want to please people or suck up to them- but because we want to get things done, enroll others in our projects, and work with others towards a common goal. If you "choose" to show up powerful every time you start to change your public identity so it works FOR you instead of AGAINST you!

Self perception is key to this.

Go out and interview people today and find out how you occur to the world. It will really help you be more effective. Take a colleague for lunch and ask the following questions...

What are my strengths?
What are my weaknesses?
What can people count on me for?
What can people NOT count on me for?
Have I ever disappointed you? When?
What can I work on in our relationship -so we can work together better?

These are powerful when you DO them -not if you read this and just think about them!