Sometimes I think I'm so smart and start to talk about myself. I don't shut up. The other person is over there and I start to notice how they are staring THROUGH me as I'm talking and then I realize that I haven't asked them anything in about five minutes straight and stop and ask them something.
Who I'm being in this case is manipulative because I'm not being straight or honestly interested in them. I know they sense it but I secretly pretend that it's not happening this way -that they really don't know about how inauthentic I'm being. What a crock! Of course they know! They are over there creating some story about it but usually they change the subject and move on with their day.
I know that the world isn't very interested in ME -they're interested in themselves. And that's not to say in a bad way either. I believe that it's just a fact. Just like I'm interested in my own problems and situations so are they.
Being over in someone elses world is very generous of us and powerful for them.
Have you ever just made a choice to give up your own life to serve someone? That's what I'm talking about.
Anyways, I've noticed that in a human interaction when there is a blank space I like to fill it up by saying something fun, exciting, amazing, or thoughtful. But why do I do this? (and I know I'm not the only one!) It's because I make the silence mean the other person's uncomfortable. What if I created something different for that silent space? How about making it mean that I get to ask a curious question about them? Discover something about them that I never knew? Now that's interesting isn't it?!
When we focus on ourselves we expand our own ego and make everything (eventually) about us. Conversely, when we focus on the other person we make the conversation about them and bring contribution to the event!
So when you find yourself talking too much or uncomfortable in a social situation -ask a question about THEM!
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