Creating Trust...

Do you want to have more trust with someone? A company? A supplier? A customer? A prospect?

Trust isn't something that happens by accident but can be created on purpose. It is simple.

Whatever you want in life (whether it is trust, love, respect, money, time, information, etc.) you must focus on. Whatever you are focusing on right now will grow and increase.

So if you want more trust then have a conversation about trust with the person(s) you want more trust with. I'll tell you how in a second but first you need to know a few key principles...

In order for trust to be possible (authentic trust) you must be present to the possibility of betrayal. There is blind trust -which ignores any possibility for betrayal. Betrayal is always possible in life -not inevitable but possible. The reason people get hurt by betrayal is because they operate and live inside of blind trust. Blind trust is deadly for relationships. Blind trust is about living inside of the idea that this person will never betray me and they will always support me.

Authentic trust is about accepting the idea that you could be betrayed at any time. Not being fearful about it -just knowing that it could happen because human beings betray one another. We do this because we're human and not necessarily because we're evil!

Here is how you have a conversation about trust to increase trust...

Start the conversation with the other person with an inquiry into betrayal. This will introduce the idea that betrayal is possible and move the relationship from blind trust into authentic trust.

I had this conversation with a client like this: "I want you to know that I really value our relationship so I wanted to ask you -what I consider to be- an important question. It is equally important to me that you answer honestly and directly as well so I can really grow and serve you at a higher level. Your honesty is a real gift to me. I want to know if I have done anything to diminish your trust in me. Have I not kept my word to you? Said anything to you that hurt you, frustrated you, or made you angry?" Then just listen.

This is powerful. If the person has been living in blind trust then their reaction will be one of surprise. That is great because you are making an real contribution to them by creating a more powerful relationship.

Once they answer you authentically the conversation will be enlightening for you and you will have an opportunity to right some wrongs as well as get complete on incompletions. This is all part of the conversation for relationship!